Sunday, January 29, 2012

In Which We Remembered How to Be Girls Again

Back story:

It started with a haircut.  Long overdue, I might add.  No, really, to the point that the stylist exhaled when she whipped me around to view the finished product, and said in a relieved tone, "That looks SO much better."

Um, thanks?

Oh well, I was in a good mood, and these people were forever on my good side, so I smiled, tipped generously, and was off to T's house.  We fueled up on coffee and tried to pretend we had any clue what we were doing.

There may or may not have been a soundtrack to this day.  Said playlist may or may not be found here:

Don't judge me.

First stop was the mall.  It turns out there are lots of other stores inside these places called malls that do not include children's items.  Who knew??

One of the most fun parts of this mall experience was discovering stores we had never seen before and did not know existed.  Better, we were able to walk into them with no clear purpose in mind and gawk.

It's like they knew I was coming.  AND was only reasonably certain both of my legs had received the shave treatment that morning.

And then there was this:

Which led us both to marvel that there is a market for lacy things that cost a fortune and yet serve very little purpose, and T to remark thoughtfully, "It's like there's a target on her butt."

She said it, not me.

Next up was makeup.  I'm not sure why it took a little cajoling to get the sales chick to warm up to us, but it was all worth it when she introduced us to these products:

Yes, you are reading those names right.  If you don't believe me, go here and here.


Pretty soon, we were spackled and sparkly and yes, lighter in the pocket book on our way out the door.

There was the mid-day meal, during which we fantasized about being Ladies Who Lunch before realizing quickly that we are, in reality, Ladies Who Are Poor and Have to Work.  But it was nice to dream for about five hot seconds.

Lunch was followed by a viewing of One For the Money, in which we first realized Katherine Heigl's Jersey accent is atrocious, and maybe it totally makes sense that she wants to come back to Grey's Anatomy.  Then it got better, and we realized we would be TOTALLY badass bounty hunters.

It was 2:00 when we left the theater, and we hit upon the brilliant idea of getting mani/pedis.  But as neither of us has had recent experience with mani/pedis, we were all, "Where do we go?" and "I dunno, let's try this place I heard was cheap."


It ended up not being too bad, aside from the fact that we really (really) did not know what to do and when to put what where.  And the trying to talk over the massage chairs that were trying to beat us to death.  And the random guy that came in for a manicure, stayed for all of three minutes before he left in a huff, only to return twenty minutes later claiming that his technician had cut him.  TWICE.

We were exceedingly glad the manager seemed to like us, and didn't look at us like she did at that guy.  I'm pretty sure she had plans to follow him to his car and slash his tires.  It's a good thing for him that the two of us look like we'd make good witnesses in a court of law.

After this point in the day, I was pretty sure my kids were beginning to forget what I looked like, and my husband may or may not have been close to the brink of insanity, so we helpfully decided we would meet back at T's house, with kids in tow to ensure that they lived through the day let them have a little fun too.

The kids all had a blast...
as evidenced by Swamp People Jr., here...

...but, just to ensure that no day is complete without at least a little bit of drama, above Jr. Swamper promptly split the back of his head open by falling out of a chair and onto a tile floor.  After a panicked after-hours call to the doc, and T's subtle remonstrance to remember my oxygen mask (or maybe she was just trying to get me to place SOMETHING over my mouth at this point, I don't know), he soon was cleaned, pressure-applied and blood-flow-free.  Once I got him home, I had to jury-rig a bedtime bandage.

Because I am just THAT redneck

Well, the night is over, but we sure made a crap-load of memories today, and have sworn we will make time for this at LEAST once a quarter from now on.  
Yes, we missed our families, but they were waiting for us when we got home.  It may have felt like an eternity to us being away from them, but they survived just fine without us for a few hours.  And, even though the kids went to bed extremely late and will likely be up at the crack of OH-MY-GOD-IT'S-SO-EARLY tomorrow, we'll be in much better moods then, thanks to today.

Well, at least after a few cups of coffee.  

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