Monday, August 12, 2013

I haven't forgotten about you

Okay, fine. Maybe I did forget about you.  A little.  For short periods of time.

But seriously, I have good reasons... Mostly.

My photography business has started taking off.  I have subsequently become terrified that I will fail miserably at this, but that's just how I roll.

Because I'm a sadist (and also in *need* of more lenses), I have embarked upon cramming for another Big Scary Test--which will, when all is said and done, reward me handsomely.

Assuming my nerves survive the journey.

So, between running here there and everywhere with my camera, editing photos and cursing my computer when they do not upload to my website correctly, and teetering on the brink of hysteria thanks to The Great Test Countdown, blogging has slipped my mind here and there.

In apology, I give you The Four Stages of Studying, a la Cyd:

Step 1: Read through material, first round.

Reaction: I got this.  I GOT this.  In fact, I've GOT this SO HARD that I'm going to commit myself to a billion other things in addition to this.  Because I am SO going to ace this.  Give me a week, maybe two, tops.  Easy peasy, baby.

Step 2: Read through material again, followed by perusal of study guide and flash cards.

Reaction: Hmm.  This may be more challenging than I anticipated.  Maybe I didn't understand the whole [insert deceptively easy-sounding material here] thingee as well as I thought I did.  Oh well, I've got plenty of time.  It's not THAT hard.

Step 3: Third pass of material, followed by practice exams.  Which I flunk.  Miserably.

Reaction: Omigod.  I'm going to fail.  I'm going to fail SPECTACULARLY.  I don't understand any of this.  It's all backwards.  WHAT DO THESE WORDS EVEN MEAN? I've only got X days left, and the clock is ticking SO LOUDLY.  And I have children wandering around, expecting to be FED and BATHED and HOW AM I GOING TO DO THIS?  I must spend EVERY WAKING MOMENT having panic attacks over this in a completely unfounded hope that freaking out will somehow make everything easier.

BRB, gonna go study obsessively.

Step 4: The Give Up Phase

Reaction: #$%^# it.  Just !@#&^ it.  I've been over and over and OVER this material, and there's no room in my brain for anything else.  Either I know it, or I don't.  No amount of further obsession is going to change the outcome of this whole debacle, so let's just get it over with so that my kids can stop looking at me like I'm a lunatic, already.

I'm currently in stage 3, with stage 4 rapidly approaching.

It's a wonder I've made it this far in my life sans-medication, really.